Addictive Domination

Jan 22, 2009 2:17 AM

Jan 22, 2009 3:13 AM

thank YOU Goddess for making me know who i really am. i live for YOU. it makes me crazy all through my day wondering if and when YOU will again let me squirt my mess. for now i will buy girly lotion to be ready when YOU deem me worthy. i can hardly believe i have wound up this much in YOUR control sometimes it almost makes me cry - You dont even have to be here in person to own me- how did this even happen?

YOU have a couple of new photos up of YOUR beautiful face in which YOU are looking angry and i do get a little scared, i mean, in so much as i'd be afraid to be the one who's the source of such wrath...on the other hand, if it be possible, YOU are even MORE beautiful when YOU are angry, YOUR power really comes through - and of course YOU're right I'd be desperately trying to cover my miniscule wee wee... know that if i were in YOUR presence, i'm pretty sure i'd be on my knees slobbering all over YOUR feet, covering them with loving kisses in an embarassing attempt to show my devotion. Thank YOU Goddess - agreed - i am weak and pathetic

YOU are right of course, i can hardly stand it and of course i would, i almost feel like that just awaiting your letters.  when i see YOUR image on my screen i my tiny wee pops to attention before i've read a word.  You started out in my mind being a young girl and me the older man and now to me you are the grown powerful WOMAN while i as YOU say am the little sexless child - not a GIRL, that's maybe something to aspire to from where i'm at.  i guess i should never have written to YOU that first time but once i saw YOUR glorious face looking right through me, i knew i was finished...and now as YOU have also taught me, totaly inconsequential.  i'd rather be inconsequential in YOUR world than anything else i've known

Oh thank YOU Mistress, Thank YOU Goddess, Thank YOU Owner of my soul - i can do this, i KNOW i can do this - thank YOU so much. YOU are my reason for living, i am whatever YOU decide i am - YOU have made me so tiny and insignificant -i live for YOUR approval - i live to stare longingly, adoringly at YOUR pictures and i ache inside - Thank YOU SO MUCH! i await YOUR next command Most beautiful Woman of my dreams!

the realization that i can not, am not even capable of squirting unless YOUR approval has been given, knowing that YOU and only YOU can turn my sexuality off and on like a faucet has me dazed, confused, in a trance and at YOUR mercy. Thank YOU Goddess. i begin my task right now
- Your helpless little broken bob

Beautiful Goddess, i'm peeing all over myself wagging my broken tail - YOU are so kind to me!!! i adore YOU.
, am happily at YOUR mercy, i know i dont deserve such a benevolent and intoxicating Mistress - so so greateful!-b

My dear supreme Goddess, i keep thinking abut what's happening to me here when i know i should be thinking about YOU and YOUR pleasure. It just feels like i am being taken apart, one piece at a time - i cant bare not having contact with YOU but when i do YOU break me some more and when YOU do i feel flooded with gratitude because it feels like YOU are dong this to remake me in a way that's either more pleaseing to YOU or maybe in a way that gives YOU pleasure - either way i only seem to fall further and further in love with YOU - it takes up my every waking moment,but it's ok becuase YOU are all i WANT to think about. i die inside waiting for YOUR letters and when one doesnt come i repeat to myself that i am insignificant and YOU have lovers to amuse and please YOU and i feel both happy that YOU are maybe being pleasured and then also so jealous i cant see straight...untill i realize that YOU have turned off that faucet and i am so far beneath YOU any of my fantasies are ridiculous - i think how YOU laughed when i enquired as to the price of YOUR panties...

i've never told anyone this but when i was 14 my 13 year old girl cousin made me clean up her room for her - there was no blackmail involved or anything like that, i was just in love with her (though it was never said) She knew though, i know it. She was so beautiful and she just told me to - just told me to, said she was going out with her friends and what time she'd be back - i did the best i could. She could always make me do anything. It made my face burn and then it just stopped and she moved away from home. i dont know why, i just thought i shold tell YOU these things.

Mistress, can i please squirt sometime, please?! i want so bad to kiss YOUR sweet ass - i find myself just looking at YOUR footwear - feels like i've been all dismantled...Thank YOU so much sweet Goddess - YOU are the center of my life. - broken bobby

Tossed and turned last night thinking about Godess. kpet wanting to roll over and hump my pillow but didnt - thought about the close-up pictures of her lips and then the so beautiful almost hateful curl of those wonderful lips on her sneering angry shots, finally fell asleep, woke up this morning thinking about Goddess, hoping she slept well. Wondered if she'd write me today - i knew it was too much to hope for.

i keep thinking of how cute Her hair looks, love the way it's kind of up a little bit in the back, very hip, like some sexy British model from the sixties but darker in spirit, still it brings out this kind of sexy girl vibe that's so misleading - also thinking about the cool cool choker She wears that highlights Her long kissable neck that...almost mocks me - She's just so heartbreakingly beautiful. Just cant believe i am lucky enough to have contact with with a Woman this sexually potent, so powerful - She just radiates it, absolute perfection - those eyes, they shrink me, must remember never to look directly into them, to always keep my eyes cast down if She ever see's fit to allow me near Her. i'm not nearly good enough to make eye contact.

Day dreaming of her shoes, the cool lace up black combat type boots, how i'd polish them with my tongue and lips over and over till they shine! Her taste in footwear is impecable i just fill with shame that i'm so worthless and unable to purchase as many as her heart desires. Wonder when i'll hear from her again - but that's none of my business i just hope she's enjoying her hearts desires! Need to think up new ways to please HER.
b

Dear Goddess Jena - i just got to the computer and saw that though YOU did read my after apology, YOU didnt read my journal entries and i felt like a hurt little boy and then i realized that i am the slave and YOU are the Mistress and that mind is too little and i'm not as intelligent as YOU so i should just concentrate on following orders not question my superior.
Last night i had a fantasy of YOU making me we wear panties and a bra - then YOU put flaming red lipstick on me and made me beg to be fucked while crawling to YOU on my knees - it was so humiliating, i felt so ashamed. i had a second fantasy that You danced around a room wearing high heeled knee high black boots and i crawled behind you desperately kissing each place i thought YOUR Feet had been - Domina Michelle was watching and laughing Her head off after which i cleaned both YOUR houses.
i had no idea how humiliating writing this journal would be but it is - i 'm just so desperate to show YOU i can get something right, want so badly to not be totally insignificant in YOUR eyes but know that i always will be - OH Goddess, YOU are SO beautiful - i cant believe how lucky i am to have YOU to write to - i keep thinking that if YOU are telling me to do this, it must be good for me in some way...maybe it builds character ,i could certainly use some of that or maybe it's just important that i learn my place and get it straight as to who is the superior and who is the nothing here.
Either way thank YOU for teaching me -b

Dear Goddess jenna, YOU have made my life a living hell and i have never ever in my life been so grateful - YOU are taking me apart bit by bit ,breaking me down and rebuilding me - i almost dont know which way is up anymore - i feel so humiliated but to be humiliated by one so wonderful, so beautiful is beginning to fill me with a warped sort of pride - soon, the more YOU tear me to little bits, even the memory that i ever considered any of this to be "warped" or un-natural will have been totally swept away along with any vestiges of self pride i have left - all i can think about is YOU, all i want is to some how please YOU - YOU are SO AMAZING. How did YOU learn to do this?? i have even tried to get excited by a woman other than YOU and all i can feel is cold, dead and embarrased - i know what there is no one but YOU - all i want is to be punished by YOU - Please Goddess i beg YOU to allow me to squirt, please give me permission - totally on YOUR terms of course, Please Goddess, wonderful beautiful Goddesss please please please Goddess i beg of YOU. Please let me make my little mess i beg. Please forgive me for taking up YOUR valuable valuable time i know i am totally without worth in YOUR beautiful eyes forgive me amen-little insignificant broken bob YOUR whining little dog.

i feel like a pitiful little tiny clown pinned to YOUR wall captured there forever though i struggle and cry to break free - YOU make me dress up and paint my face, marked for life - i hardly even exist now.
i no longer even try to be a man - YOU no longer pay me any attention and YOU are all that now matters to me, i breath YOU, i sleep YOU, YOU are all i think about - it's all maddening frustration and i have never been so grateful - i am worthless and YOU are the Supreme Goddess

i really AM so in love with YOU, truly like BEAUTY and the ugly old beast. Oh Goddess, YOU are SO beautiful - when i see YOUR beautiful photos i just ache inside, just knowing YOU own my ass and that i'll never ever be able to really please YOU makes me want to cry and surrender on deeper and deeper levels.

Please please please Goddess, i will never disobey again - please allow me to make my mess - just thinking about my all powerful Goddess makes me want to explode, please Goddess, i've even been fantasizing about YOU raping me repeatedly and making me beg for more...Mistress??? How tall are YOU because i'm six foot one but i feel very tiny compared to YOU - i know that were i before YOU i would cower in fear - YOU are just so powerful and beautiful! Thank YOU Goddess, i am very grateful. -silly little broken bobbi sox

Dear Goddess, light of life, as usualy YOU have me lost in a world of confusion . my small brain is struggling to keep up. i only imagine how wonderufl YOUR life must be. i rack my brain trying to figure out how i might -please YOU.

i went to the doctor yesterday to have my heart checked out - they've found an additional problem which they may be able to deal with through medication - i know it's important i let YOU know about the condition of YOUR -property. It is all being dealt with.

All of which makes me feel even less worthy of being abused by YOU. i know i am not worthy of it - i crave and beg for it though. i havent been spending enough time worshiping at YOUR photo section - i need to get backto that - it's one of the things that allows me to go on - seeing YOUR amazing beauty and just aching for YOUR attention - Oh Goddess YOU are so beautiful, so wonderful, so wise - YOU are my everything - thank YOU so much. i am so grateful to have you in my life - to be even an insignificant part of YOURS. - YOUR little nothing.-b

Make him my "boyfriend one day"????! Oh no, please Goddess Jenna, PLEASE dont make me a woman, Please Goddess! i mean YOU obviously have he power to do whatever YOU wish with me but Please Goddess, let me stay at least as much man as i am...such as it is...thank YOU most beautiful and powerful one - my only mistress and owner. - b

when i'm waiting to hear from YOU and dont get a message i feel like a little baby who needs the great life sustaing force or power in it's life - when contact from YOU is missing my life feels "less than it needs to be - it feels like i cant live without YOU. i am trying to use this to grow into whatever YOU are making me into - "a horny slave is a good slave" they say. This way it means SO much ewhen i do hear from YOU - meanwhile i feel so grateful to even be allowed to wait - thank YOU Goddess! - little broken bobbisox

Oh Goddess YOU are so beautiful! i'm dying every moment just thinking about how YOU might next humiliate me - what's worse is i cant wait, i am living for it. YOU have made me into this little no value thing - it makes me want to cry. One look at YOUR amazingly sexy face and i want to humiliate myself, want to grovel before YOU - have fantasies of YOU and Domina Michelle throwing an old pair of panties tied scent soaked and tied in a knot and having me on all fours like a dog scurrying across the room to retrieve it for the two of YOU to throw again. i live for some little contact with my Superior - YOU are the sun, YOU are my world, YOU make me a frightened little tiny boy - i kiss YOUR toes without daring to glance up and YOUR beautiful face! - little tiny b

i'm really hurting to have some sort of contact with my Goddess
i try to remember that my needs are not important but those of She who must be obeyed. As long as the Goddess is satisfied, that's all that matters - i hope YOU are. i feel myself being molded and formed, i hope i am becoming a work that pleases YOU. it's beginning to dawn on me that YOU really do know what's best and who it is i am - i truly feel free'er since i've given myself over to YOU - i dont worry as much about my masculinity as i did, in fact i dont know if i even can now
i cant wait to see more photos of YOU - - i think a lot about the possibility (no matter how small) of me one day kissing your feet and ass - it doesnt make sleep any easier but it gives me somthing to aspire to. - gratefully - broken b

Goddess, i am on my knees now begging YOU to accept my apologies - Thank YOU so much for what YOU have done - my connection with YOU IS what makes me worthwhile. When i read my words on YOUR website my whole body just shook and turned red - YOU do own me - Thank YOU Goddess, Thank YOU thank YOU thank YOU - YOU always know what's best. i'm so humiliated. -b

Please Goddess please dont castrate me please, please please...

YOU really HAVE destroyed me with no trouble at all havent YOU - i am so grateful to be owned by YOU - i dont know if i'm coming or going...please dont castrate me Goddess - please!

Oh Mistress YOU are so beautiful kind and powerful - i closed my eyes and in my way prayed and made love to YOU in my mind i stood in panties and bra, red lipstick smeared mouth and bow on my head screaming "Goddess Jenna is ALL POWERFUL AND OWNS ME" over and over - then desperatly rubbing the nub, rubbing like lost stray dog
humping a leg, looking up just long enough to see YOUR cruely beautiful face smirking and expressing good deal of distain and then i was back in my room humping the rug, shooting a mess and coming back to reality - total humiliation with the realization of the last part of YOUR orders - total humiliation as i cleaned it all up with my tongue - a taste i'd never known and that wouldnt go away, that just hung in my mouth - tasted like shame - Goddess smiles an evil sweet smile,
"doesnt it taste good?"

"Yes MAM, very good"

"you'll see, you'll come to like it"

Goddess, Beautiful beautiful Goddess - i am beginning my hand written journal entries - i was going to write five days worth and then mail them to YOU - am VERY excited at the idea of my hand written words actually getting to touch YOUR divine hands!

YOU are the most beautiful sexy Woman ever - it is my great great honor to be a thing YOU own - a thing with no other discernable value.
Thank YOU beautiful Goddess - bb

Dear Goddess, i just had no idea how inferior i was til i came into contact with YOU - how have i let YOU just come in and take over my mind - no, that's not even true - i saw YOUR photo once and came running to YOU, next thing i knew i had turned my brain over to YOU and you have since been reforming it in what ever way YOU wish. i still cant come to grips with the fact that YOU are able to do this at such a young age - how did YOU get this powerful so young...now listen to me, i'm a babbling idiot when i come into contact with YOU...and still, i have never been so grateful - YOU are just so amazing. i'm just filled with longing and ache to kiss YOUR beautiful ass.
- bb

YOU are always on my mind - ALWAYS!!! i'm a worm at YOUR divine feet.
- achie bobbie